The Worst Of Bollywood: 2014

Most of these films are no longer playing in the cinema halls. Thank God for that. But don’t even bother watching them when they play on television. You can thank me for that.

This is not Sajid Khan’s worst. That honour still belongs to Himmatwala. The trouble with his movies is that he casts his actors in his own mould. He makes them behave in the exact same way he himself did when he used to appear on TV. Which is more goofy than witty. Few jokes, very few, hit the mark. But the ones that don’t, miss the target by a mile. Sajid has virtually patented the multiple-characters-leading-to-exaggerated-confusion formula. Each time, it’s tiresome after a point.

Ek Villain PosterHead(ache) Villain
A remake of I Saw the Devil. But you can’t tell. A heroine’s character has been introduced, the gore cut down to standards acceptable in India and the psychopathic killer given a motive, perhaps because it’s a mainstream actor playing the villain. Some bad acting, terrible dialogue and overall a poor movie.

Salman Khan as Salman Khan. Doing what he has been doing since Wanted. Does not matter who the director is. Does not matter what his character is. Does not matter what the plot is. With an idea filched from Pay It Forward, this should have been a much more gentle film. But it’s not. It’s loud and boring. Just another turkey by director Sohail Khan. Even the audiences weren’t very receptive towards it.

A bromance-cum-love triangle set against the backdrop of the Bangladesh war and the coal mafia. Sounds like a sweeping epic but in fact, is a bad, bad movie. Arjun Kapoor can’t act. Ranveer Singh and Priyanka Chopra do not bother to act. And Irfan Khan is stuck in a hopeless role. Chalk another disappointment from director Ali Zafar.

Ragini XXX 2
The horror in this “horrex” is stuck in a time warp. Attempts at jump scares look ancient and creaky. In fact the very plot of a film crew in a haunted house is as old as the house itself. What is new is a Hindi film with rarely seen before levels of skin show. For Sunny Leone fans, it’s not a novel experience but under the Bollywood rubric, its eye popping. That explains its decent run at the box office.

I am tired of even putting down Salman Khan’s movies by now. Same old, same old. Towards the end of this one Nawazuddin Siddique provides ten minutes of hilarity. But why suffer the entire movie for that much.

Bunkum Returns
Another Rohit Shetty torture pill. This time with an additional bonus of a shrieky Kareena Kapoor. What fun.

Heropanti PosterZeropanti
Tiger Shroff needs a haircut, a more natural smile and a better wardrobe. Then maybe his next film may not turn out to be this bad. Kriti Sanon actually is the better one amongst the two. The story is a mish mash of a handful of stock Bollywood plot lines. Just when you thought filmmakers would have moved on, Prakash Raj returns as the villain. In exactly the same way as any of his other Hindi film outings. This is what many consider as a “safe” launch for a star son. Which also means that it’s dangerous for senses.

Finding Funny (but not getting it)
A brave attempt at a quirky road movie by Homi Adajania that turns out to be a spectacular disappointment, considering the talents involved. Naseeruddin Shah is reduced to a sniveling wreck, Pankaj Kapur left to uttering “Madaaaam” in a lascivious manner and Dimple Kapadia stuck with a prosthetic rear. Deepika Padukone looks good but is paired with Arjun Kapoor who can make the entire frame look bad. There are no laughs in this comedy.

PK Go Home
There is the message and then there is the medium. The message is noble. The cancer of organized religion needs to be attacked and its hypocrisy exposed. But the medium is a wreck. As if any subtlety would have robbed the film of its flavour. PK is a timepass kind of film for the occasional audience. But for the rabid movie buff, its over the top treatment is too much too take. Rajkumar Hirani and Aamir Khan’s combination gave us the entertaining 3 Idiots. This time round, the magic has vanished.


10 thoughts on “The Worst Of Bollywood: 2014

  1. Out of these, I have only watched PK and Finding Fanny. I liked FF but PK was strictly OK and quite a drag at places.

  2. Where’s action jackson in the list? I liked Heropanti, it delivered what i wanted, my expectations were pretty low. P.K i would not say was or is a great film, but i enjoyed it more than 3 idiots.

Share your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.